Addiction affects family dynamics in a lot of small and significant ways that aren’t always immediately noticeable. The most concerning is when parents of addicts accidentally enable an addict’s behavior without realizing it. The desire to help your child can sometimes cross over into enabling behaviors.
The key is to know the difference, and we’re here to shine a light on the issue. If you’re worried that you might be enabling your child instead of helping, keep reading.
Listed below is everything on how to support recovery without going too far.
Signs of Enabling Behavior
The main problem with enabling behavior is that it often stems from a place of love. It can be tricky to see the behavior as a detriment when you only want the best outcome.
At its core, you accidentally enable an addict when you take on the consequences of their actions. For example:
- Paying fees or fines when they get in trouble
- Not encouraging them to find a job for fear of setbacks
- Finding excuses to explain their behavior
- Denial of the addiction problem
- Ignoring your needs to put all of your attention on them
A lot of these behaviors attempt to help the family of an addict feel better about the situation. They don’t want to cause disruption or an argument, and so they turn toward kinder options. The problem is that these options enable the addict to continue struggling rather than heal.
Dangers of Continued Enabling
If you ignore the signs, enabling addiction – regardless of your good intentions – will make your child’s recovery more difficult. They need you as a support system that can maintain boundaries, consequences, and rules.
Continued enabling can drive a wedge between family members and create resentment.
Breaking Enabling Cycles
Beneficial support for addicted loved ones often starts with taking a step back. View the situation as a stranger looking in, rather than a parent. This can give you an unbiased perspective that will allow you to re-evaluate your next steps.
Start breaking the cycle by setting rules and consequences that you will follow. Find a support group that can help you figure out better ways to assist your child’s recovery. Talk through these changes with your child so everyone is on the same page.
Building Healthy Family Dynamics
Fixing the cycle won’t be a cut-and-dry process. Be prepared for upsets and remember to hold your ground. Building healthier dynamics in your family will take time but the effort will be worth it in the end.
Once those new dynamics find a natural flow, you’ll often find that helping your child through their recovery is easier and more rewarding for both of you.
Finding Support for Parents of Addicts
To give children the kind of help they deserve, parents of addicts need to care for themselves as well. Without support, the journey will only be more difficult for everyone involved.
HOPE Guides is here to help you and your family every step of the way. We use our intimate experience and knowledge of addiction to help support those trying to find a better path in life. Contact us today to schedule a session and we can work together to find a brighter future!
